You Don’t Have to Be Loud to Lead

By Carrie Kuhl | CEO & Founder

A few weeks ago, I had the chance to speak to a leadership class at South Dakota State University. The topic? Leadership and decision-making. Sounds simple enough, but as I started preparing, I realized something: I’d never really sat down and analyzed how I personally make decisions. I just make them. It was surprisingly eye-opening.

I rely a lot on my intuition. And when I say intuition, I don’t mean vague vibes or random guesses. I mean that deep sense of knowing that comes from experience, clarity, and internal alignment. I trust my gut—and more often than not, it's right.

That realization got me thinking: why does this approach work so well for me?

The answer lies in something I’ve spent a lot of time exploring over the years: the Enneagram.

I’m a Type 9 (The Peacemaker) with a dominant Self-Preservation instinct. That means I lead with calm, care, and intuition. I focus on creating harmony, sensing what's needed, and moving things forward without force. My presence tends to be grounding. I'm not loud. I'm not pushy. And I'm definitely not the person who talks just to take up space.

When I speak, it comes from a place of listening, curiosity, intention, and thoughtfulness. I don’t speak because I feel the need to contribute. I speak when I have something to contribute. People who know me well understand this, and over time, they’ve learned to lean in when I do speak.

But it wasn't always easy to own this.

For a long time, I found myself comparing my leadership style to those I admired. They were bold, dynamic, magnetic. They stood out. I found myself wondering if I needed to lead more like them to be taken seriously. But the truth is, it just didn’t feel like me.

So I started asking a different question: Why do we define leadership as loud?

Why Do We Define Leadership as Loud?

I did some digging...

Historically, leadership has been shaped by dominant cultural narratives: the "Great Man" theory, corporate hierarchy, and the idea that charisma equals competence. Commanding the room, taking charge, and being the loudest voice have been equated with strong leadership.

Even today, studies show that extroverts are more likely to be perceived as leaders, regardless of actual effectiveness. That bias still shows up in boardrooms, meetings, and group dynamics. We’re conditioned to associate volume with value.

But that definition is incomplete. It leaves out leaders who lead through insight, relational depth, presence, and intuition. It leaves out people like me.

How I Make Decisions (The Real Story)

When I spoke at SDSU, I shared my personal decision-making framework. I didn’t realize I even had one until I started mapping it out, but it turns out my process is both simple and deeply intuitive:

• I get quiet. I slow down enough to hear myself think.
• I gather input from trusted people, but I don’t crowdsource my clarity.
• I imagine how the decision will play out—not just in metrics, but in real life.
• I consider: Will this align with our vision? Will this support the people involved?
• I listen for that inner yes. Or no. And I trust it.

My decisions are rarely black-and-white. I live comfortably in the gray area. That’s where discernment lives. That’s where nuance and humanity live. And as a Type 9, I’m wired to think relationally. I care deeply about the human side of work. The ripple effect. The emotional tone. The way things feel for people, not just how they look on paper.

What I’d Tell Other Quiet Leaders

Do what fills your cup. Seriously. If speaking on a stage or on a panel feels scary but exciting, try it. If quiet one-on-one conversations are where you shine, own that. I used to feel nervous about speaking in front of groups—especially when it wasn’t my idea of "leadership." Now I enjoy those moments because I show up as myself.

You don’t need to lead like anyone else. You don’t need to be loud. You just need to be aligned.

The future of leadership isn’t about charisma. It’s about clarity. And the more we create space for different leadership styles, the stronger our teams, our cultures, and our decisions will be.